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"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Just some things I needed to get off my chest....

Lately, there have just been some things that I've been wanting (and needing) to get off my chest. Most of these things are from my past, and probably many of you won't really understand what I'm talking about, but please bear with me. This is just something I've needed to do for a while.

  • People, listen up! NO-I'm no longer a size 7. NO-I don't "hate" the fact that I'm not skinny anymore. NO-it doesn't make me any less of a person just because I gained my weight back. Back then, being skinny made me happy. That doesn't make me happy anymore. I have more important things in my life to worry about these days than my weight, and whether or not certain people find it "acceptable".
  • You were one of the biggest parts of my life. You were the first person I ever kissed, and it took me 17 years to get to that point. You were the first person I had ever fully given myself to...inside and out. You made me feel beautiful like no one else ever had. You also hurt me more than anyone else. For a long time, you shattered who I was. I saw no future without you. But, because of you, I became stronger. I saw you again, so many times and it was fun....the flings we had. My new independent attitude really surprising you. You made me feel good about myself, and empty all at the same time. But I wanna thank you. For showing me that I was more. For showing me that I deserved more. I don't regret how things turned out between us. I'm proud of those times, even though I was so young. You helped to shape me into the woman I am today. So, I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I really could care less about you anymore.
  • To this day, I wish I could pay you back for the way you treated me. Those memories still handicap me sometimes, and I resent you for that. You were trash....you're still trash....and you always will be. I gave you EVERYTHING I had to give....and it was never good enough. Now I see that I was just too good for you to begin with. That relationship, if you can even call it that, was purely a lesson. One I've well learned.
  • I miss my best friend. Not many people know it, and I play it off like I don't...but I do. She was my "friendly soul mate". I really miss her.

So, now that I've gotten those things off my chest, I feel a little better. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and I will see you all on Monday!

Yours truly, .beee.


vixen kitten said...

I'm home if you feel like talking.

*hugs* Sweetie. I love you.


C. Louis Wolfe said...

Hey .beee. (what does that mean anyway- just curious.) I hope you feel better unloading, venting, releasing, whatever you wanna call it. I also hope you feel lighter & brighter of spirit for doing so. Purging can be VERY cleansing!

COMPLETE Self-acceptance which brings freedom, peace, & contentment seems to come w/time & age, at least for me. Perhaps you already have that. I still have some ways to go. ;^)

Seems like you're on the right path. I can't recall if I asked you this already, but can you get me the phone number of the HOT mystical chick on your blog?

Be well.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know I think you're a beautiful person inside and out. It doesn't matter what size you are. You're one Hot Momma!