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"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Just some things I needed to get off my chest....

Lately, there have just been some things that I've been wanting (and needing) to get off my chest. Most of these things are from my past, and probably many of you won't really understand what I'm talking about, but please bear with me. This is just something I've needed to do for a while.

  • People, listen up! NO-I'm no longer a size 7. NO-I don't "hate" the fact that I'm not skinny anymore. NO-it doesn't make me any less of a person just because I gained my weight back. Back then, being skinny made me happy. That doesn't make me happy anymore. I have more important things in my life to worry about these days than my weight, and whether or not certain people find it "acceptable".
  • You were one of the biggest parts of my life. You were the first person I ever kissed, and it took me 17 years to get to that point. You were the first person I had ever fully given myself to...inside and out. You made me feel beautiful like no one else ever had. You also hurt me more than anyone else. For a long time, you shattered who I was. I saw no future without you. But, because of you, I became stronger. I saw you again, so many times and it was fun....the flings we had. My new independent attitude really surprising you. You made me feel good about myself, and empty all at the same time. But I wanna thank you. For showing me that I was more. For showing me that I deserved more. I don't regret how things turned out between us. I'm proud of those times, even though I was so young. You helped to shape me into the woman I am today. So, I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I really could care less about you anymore.
  • To this day, I wish I could pay you back for the way you treated me. Those memories still handicap me sometimes, and I resent you for that. You were trash....you're still trash....and you always will be. I gave you EVERYTHING I had to give....and it was never good enough. Now I see that I was just too good for you to begin with. That relationship, if you can even call it that, was purely a lesson. One I've well learned.
  • I miss my best friend. Not many people know it, and I play it off like I don't...but I do. She was my "friendly soul mate". I really miss her.

So, now that I've gotten those things off my chest, I feel a little better. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and I will see you all on Monday!

Yours truly, .beee.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Why I love my husband, despite EVERYTHING.

These were a series of text messages I received from Chris tonight in response to the blog I wrote about our anniversary:

Well three years has gone by fast and so much has happened. Great things and bad things, and I know I may not be the same person on the outside, cause I know I have screwed up numerous times. And apart from all that, inside, I love you more than you will ever know. I know we have our moments but I promise you, that shit eatin' grin you saw on our wedding day, it's still there. That's something that will never ever go away as long as you're with me. I love you with everything there is to me, Brandi. You and Mia are what keep me lookin' forward to that day we have our own place and I can show the shit eatin' grin even more ;-) Brandi, I will always love you, no matter what, ok? I may have a weird way of showing it now, cause we live in probably the most stressful house EVER and I tend to put myself in bad situations, but when we get our place, you will see that smile every moment we're together....

So yeah...he's amazing.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wordless Wednesday.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Tomorrow is mine and Chris's 2 year anniversary. I look back on all the things we've been through...it'll be almost 3 years together, 2 married, and I truly can't believe that much time has passed.

I remember our wedding day. I was so nervous. I don't remember ever being more scared than I was in that moment. I had all my friends there, who were amazing to me, family....but I still couldn't get past how nervous I was! I remember the music starting and I remember standing next to my mom, watching my bridesmaids go out before us and up to the altar. I finally got through that doorway, and I remember looking at my feet reminding myself to walk slowly.....When I looked up and saw Chris's face, the biggest smile I have EVER seen, him in his suit just beaming at me, his future bride....I forgot about everything and everyone but him. You should see the pictures! In every one of them he's got the biggest s*** eatin' grin you've ever SEEN, hah! Not many people know this, but I was about 3 months pregnant with Mia when we got married. I remember thinking how that was the beginning of the life I had always wanted.....

2 years down the road and we've definitely had our struggles. There have been times when I just knew we wouldn't make it through....when I just knew I'd never see that smile again....but we've made it this far. How? I'm not really sure sometimes, lol But we have.

I just want to tell you that you're my soul. You're everything I need, and nothing I need, all at the same time, sometimes....but I always love you. No matter the arguments, no matter what words are said between us, no matter how we disagree....I still love you. My heart is still tied to yours and always will be. I wouldn't give you up for anything. I wouldn't change our marriage, our family, for anything. You gave me that beautiful angelbby and I just have to sit back and smile at her sometimes because she looks so much like you. You gave me life when I felt like I had nothing left. It's amazing to think about Gammie and PawPaw and their 50th anniversary coming up next month. 50 years! I pray that we get that. That we have those 50 years. I want those 50 years with you, Chris. No less.
So here's to our 48 more years to go....and more, if God wills it. I love you so much. Thank you for being my lover, my friend, my stronghold, my backup, my husband, for 2 years.

I love you so much.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wordless. Wednesday.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


With all the losses surrounding people who are close to me most recently, I've really come to realize that life is not something you take lightly. Now that's not to say to take it too seriously, either. All I'm thinking is that I really need to try to appreciate life more-mine as well as others. I need to take more time to just look around and enjoy the beauty God has given. I need to be thankful that I have eyes to see the beauty, ears to hear it, and a voice to speak out. There are some less fortunate who don't have these things which I too often take for granted.

I've never thought about how truly an animal can become a companion until recently. As you all know, a very dear friend of mine lost one of her best friends recently; her dog, Sweet Pea. It really hurts me when people act like the death of an animal is no big deal. Animals should mean just as much as people do. They feel and are capable of love, capable of hate. They bleed and mourn and get ill. So why not treat them accordingly? VK loved Sweet Pea more than anything. They went kayaking together, they walked every day, and they shared a true bond between best friends. Just because Sweet Pea was a dog, made her no less of an individual to love and care for. And that's exactly what VK did, right up until the end.
Knowing the love that VK has for Sweet Pea really made me realize that even an animal's life is precious. Especially one who has grown with you; especially one who has been there for you when no one else has; especially one who you love. Animals can be friends, loved ones, family...just as much as a human can.

I also never really realized that soldiers are dying almost every day around the world fighting wars that maybe, we don't even know about! Soldiers who are moms and dads, sisters and brothers, someone's child....just gone because they are fighting for what they believe is right and for a country that stands behind them. I never really thought much about it, to be honest, until it hit so close to home with my friend, Crystal, and her husband, John, who was killed in Afghanistan. It kills me to think about what her last words to him might have been....never knowing that they were the last words she'd ever get to say to him. Was there a phone call the night before where they exchanged "I love you's"? Did John get to speak to his children before that fateful day? I'm tearing up now thinking about what Crystal and her children must be going through. As much as Chris and I fight and argue and disagree, I can't ever imagine my life without him. And to know that he's never coming back? I just don't think my heart would be strong enough.

So you see, I've really been thinking alot lately about how important it is to not take for granted the life that you have, and the people that you have in it. Every breath we take brings us closer and closer to our last. Why take that for granted? From now on, I'm going to try my hardest to never waste a second of what life I have left.
I'm going to tell those who are close to me that I love them, as often as I can.
I'm going to get back into church more on a regular basis, because with God on my side, I can never fail.
I'm going to work as hard as I can to be the best mother and wife that I can, because Chris and Mia deserve no less.
I'm goint to make a better effort to take care of myself and my body; after all, it's the only one I get.
I'm going to see friends more, because who knows when one day, I may not be able to see them at all?
I'm going to be an overall nicer person. Kindness goes much farther than being malicious.
I'm going to try and just be better, period.

For my life, and the lives that surround me.

That's all for today.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Prayers for an amazzzing lady and her Pea.

I know it's supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday", but a dear dear friend of mine just lost someone extremely special to her. Please if you would keep my friend, Vixen Kitten, in your prayers because now is just a really difficult time for her right now. She's been through so much, and I just ask that you keep her in your prayers. She's a beautiful and strong woman, and I know she can pull through; she's a special soul and has an amazing heart, so please, she deserves all the prayers she can get right now.

I really appreciate it, and I love you, VK.


It's that time again, Wordless Wednesday.

Saturday, June 06, 2009


Only 15 more minutes and I get to go home! FINALLYYY!!! Today has been the longest Saturday I've had in a while. Seriously, I thought I would never get to this point-only 15 more minutes! I've been scanning all day, burning up hot, I look like poo today, and on top of ALL that, I've been sitting in this chair for 11 looong hours, and I swear I'm not sure if my feet really work anymore =/

Oy, thank goodness tomorrow is Sunday! The day of rest.
Everyone enjoy!

All my ♥

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Much needed prayers, please.

I'd like to ask everyone who reads my blog to please pray for one of my dear friends, Crystal Beale. Her husband John was deployed to Afghanistan in late April and he, along with 2 others, were killed this morning in Infantry. Crystal is one of the sweetest, most kind hearted individuals that I have ever met and I remember back in December she was so frightened for him to be getting deployed and having to be gone for a whole year. I'm so sorry to know that her worst fears came true. So if you would please, pray for her and her 2 children that they can be strong throughout this and pull through. I can't even begin to imagine the pain or the loss. So please, pray for her and her little girl and little boy. They would definitely appreciate it, and definitely need it right now.


Silly Mia.

Just thought I'd post this absolutely lovely picture of Mia for today's post.
-Yes, that's a duck in her mouth.
-Yes, she was saying "cheese" around the duck.

Everyone have a great Thursday♥

All my ♥

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Wordless Wednesday (feelin' sexy!!!)

Monday, June 01, 2009

For Today.

Not much to report except for some great pictures from this weekend (prior post) and some great pictures from today to add to them. Enjoy!

All my ♥