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"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
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Friday, February 27, 2009

Forgive me.

Please forgive me for the sparseness of my blogs lately. I'm recently ensconsed in reading quite a few of Iris Johansen's Eve Duncan thrillers, and I haven't had much time to write. I'm absolutely addicted (not as much as I am to the Twilight saga, I might add) but still, they're very interesting and I love her style of writing. I hope to be writing on here again soon. Until then....

Peace, Love, && MysteryThrillers<3

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I've realized....

The more and more I think about it, the more I realize how lost I'd be without my family. Of course we don't always agree, and this past year we've definitely had some struggles that, even to this day we're still having to work on; but I've come to realize how absolutely lost I'd be without all of them in my life.

These past few months have been especially difficult. 3 of my family members have seemingly lost their way...and it's slow going for them coming back to where they need to be. Everyone keeps praying and praying and at times it seems better, just to come back and show us that it's actually getting worse. None of us are giving up. We still have faith that God can bring each of them back. Will their family bond ever be the same? Probably not. But each of them, as individuals, can still get back to that place where they're good in God's eyes...and good in our eyes as well. Cause they obviously don't realize how much pain the rest of us are going through, right along with them.

I look at my mother in times like these. I've often felt like, all my life, I had to carry so much burden for the things that went on in our home. That's because, alot of the time I was the one who got blamed. I only got blamed because of my strength; because the Devil knew that if it was turned on me that I would gladly accept the hurt. I'd rather hurt than have to see my sister or my mother hurting. I remember my mom being so brave. Almost of the time, that strength was hidden, but I definitely believe I inherited my strength from her; I learned it from her. Mine was just more obvious. I look at her now, after so many struggles that she's overcome, and she's better for it! She's better after he told her she wouldn't be; after he told her that she'd never make it. She made it. I hate to think about the day that she goes up to Heaven to be with Jesus. I just can't make myself; it hurts too much already and she's still here and healthy! I'm not sure what I'll do with myself when that day comes. I refuse to think about it now, but you never know how long you truly have.

And I love my sister. We hardly EVER agree on anything, but I couldn't imagine my life without her. She's always been such a big part of me, and I know that a part of me would die if ever she were gone. I also have to say (and no, I'm not biased; this is a true fact, ask anyone) that I have the most remarkable grandparents (on my mother's side, of course) that any human being could ask for! I pray each and everyday that the Lord keeps them around for many more years to come. I want my second child to know the immense love that they're capable of giving out. They give with no strings attached and they live to help others. I've never known 2 people so set in the path God has given them, and following it step by step. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without them, and I know that.

Now that I've shared my epiphany about my family, let me just say this. Yes, we all have problems. Yes, our families are sometimes annoying and most times all up in your business. But yes, how we love them. Family; those are the people who have been there when you were smart, and they've been there when you were stupid. They've seen you pretty and they've seen you really ugly. They've lost and they've loved with you. So appreciate them. Enough said.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I haven't really been in the blog writing mood lately. I don't really know why; writing always makes me feel better. I guess I just feel kinda like I'm losing touch lately. I don't really know how to explain it...I just feel sorta empty lately, like something's missing. I have no idea what it could be...

It may have something to do with not seeing my friends as much as I'd like to. I've already gone though enough losing someone who I thought was my absolutely BEST friend. We used to talk about living with each other, having babies at the same time, getting married at the same time! We had our futures planned ALL out, and neither of those futures was without me or her in it sharing the memories. Now that I think about it, if someone asked me, I wouldn't be able to tell them why we aren't friends anymore. We just...grew apart, something I never thought would happen. I admit, I didn't contact her as often as I should have; I didn't make myself as much a part of her life as I used to. But she didn't make the effort either. I think the real straw that broke the camel's back? That was when she got married and I wasn't invited. She was my maid of honor!!! And I didn't even get an invitation. "It was for family only," she said; but wasn't I family? Did she not call me her "sister"? We were inseparable! And yet, I wasn't family enough, I guess.

I've always been told that I'm good at pushing people away. That it's only a matter of time before they leave. It's been proven, you know? Two relationships, and two friendships stand the testament to this fact. What am I doing wrong? What is it that I do that so repulses people that, eventually, they just get tired enough of me and decide to leave?

I have 2 truly amazing women in my life at the moment. Without them, I'd feel utterly lost alot of the time. They both know many of my secrets and I've shared with them things that I wouldn't tell just anybody. And sadly, I already feel as though I'm losing one of them. She's beautiful, and amazing, and she's told me so many horror stories of the things she's been through. I always thought I was so strong; always the safe harbor for my mother and my sister for 18 years of my life. I was wrong. I didn't know true strength until I met this girl. And yes, I say girl, but not meaning it in the sense of maturity. I tell you, this friend is more mature than I am. I only say girl because of her age; that number. She's still a teenager and yet, been through so much that everytime you look into her eyes, it's amazing to see the strength hiding there inside of her. I can't imagine living through the things that she's lived through, and making it out so beautifully. Of course she's still scarred...I've been a witness to that; but you'd never guess it by the way she carries herself. Always so strong, and gracious, and just one amazing human being. God truly blessed me when He sent her my way. And I'm scared I'm losing her. I don't think I've necessarily pushed her away. I just think that she's growing up. I want her to know, if she's reading this, that I'll always love you, and that I'll always be right there waiting anytime you need me for anything. These times ahead are gonna be hard, I don't doubt it. But I wanna be there for you. Please, please don't ever hesitate to call me. I know we don't talk on the phone alot, but I want you to know that it's always an option. I won't talk, I'll just listen if that's what you need. You're so important to me, and to my life, to my family's life too. I don't wanna lose that. Come see me soon, beautiful girl. I love you.

That's all for now.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Could this day be taking any longer to be over with?! I still have 2 hours to go, but it feels like a lifetime! I've had 18 calls ALL DAY...in 9 hours!!! It's ridiculous! It always seems like the time goes by so slow on Saturdays. Maybe it's just because I'm so anxious to get home to Chris and Mia. It's Valentine's Day! I should be spending it with the people I love! I have to admit, I have the most amazing family to be with on Valentine's Day. I know when I get home, I'll get a big kiss and hug from Chris, and then little Mia...she'll run at me (as fast as her stubby little legs can carry her!) and hold her arms out and say "Momma, Momma!" And she just looks at me with this little face and those big eyes...ah! She makes my heart melt. So it's not the most romantic Valentine's Day. We ordered pizza and we'll probably play a couple rounds of Bikini Samarai Squad (you know, kill a few zombies in our underwear for the greater good of mankind) and then me and Chris will put Mia to bed and have some time to enjoy each other's company.

We've each already gotten our Valentine's Day presents. We each got to spend $60 on one another. Chris mostly got football cards (which is what he wanted; he's all into those things all of a sudden =/) and I got a number of assorted things including my Team Alice phone skin, YAY! I have to admit, that this is the most money we've spent on each other for Valentine's. We normally don't do a whole lot since we had Mia. We just like to spend the time together as a family; so it was exciting to delegate some money this year from our tax refund to spend on each other. We really had alot of fun buying the gifts. I hope we're lucky enough to have extra money every year to splurge with like this =)

Tomorrow, we're going to Macon Mall to just walk around, see if we can find any good deals perhaps. We're gonna pick up Chris's cousin Cody on the way and take him along. He rarely gets to get out of the house because he doesn't have his license, so we're gonna try to get him out more often because he really is alot of fun.
Anywho-I hope we don't go crazy tomorrow at the mall. I'm looking forward to going back to church too. I feel bad because we haven't been in 2 Sundays what with Mia being sick and then our trip to Savannah; I really miss my church family and I'll be glad to be back.
How much more time now? Ah, it's 6:20. Only an hour and 40 minutes left to go! Start the countdown!!! hah!

Peace, Love, & .beee.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

There's no place like home...

Wow, did Dorothy have it right or what?! Yes, we're home from Savannah. And unfortunately, since I'm at work right now, I don't have any of my pictures to post, but don't worry, I didn't take that many anyway. I know, I know. I don't sound as super excited as I did before we left, huh? That's because I'm not, really. I mean, don't get me wrong...I had fun! River Street was fun and we did enjoy ourselves because the weather was so beautiful and it's just nice to get away to a new place every now and then...break up the monotony, you know? But still, there's never anyplace like home. It felt so good to be able to sleep in my own bed last night, whew! We had to sleep in Mario's bed (Chris's little brother), and it was kinda lumpy and slanted to one side, so that every time Mia would move, she would slide over into me and cause me to slide over into Chris, causing none of us to have any room! (hah!) Next time we go down, we're DEFINITELY getting a hotel. I think that would have made the trip much more enjoyable. We did have a good time, overall.
Chris's cousin Cody got to stay down with us after his parents went home, and he's such a character! He's really hilarious and says the most random things, so he definitely helped to keep things fun! And Tina was sooo good with Mia! She kept her twice so that me and Chris could have some time to ourselves, which was SO good and so very nice of her to do that for us!
So overall, we had a good time =) I really would like to go back, maybe spend some more time at the beach this time though. Mia would like that =) Oh, we bought an XBox 360 today too, oy....Chris really talked me into it, and it was alot of money, but I think we're really going to enjoy it. We won't have to worry about playing anyone else's game from now on, so that's a plus. Anyway-I guess I better get back to work now. I'm glad I'm home; back to writing my blogs, hah!

Peace, Love, && Home<3

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Are We There Yet?!?!

I know I said I wasn't getting back on here until Wednesday, when I got home, but I can't help it! I'm so bored and I only have like, 30 minutes left of work and I just can't wait to get out of here and get all our stuff thrown in the car, fill up the tank, and be on our way!!! UGH! I hate waiting, hah! I'm just so ready to go I can barely stand it! Today's been an excruciatingly boring day. I've read and clicked around the Internet, read some more, took a few calls, more Internet, more reading....at least Chris and Mia got to come and join me for lunch. That roused some of the monotony. Then it was back to the Internet, a few more calls, and LOTS more reading....Are we there yet?!?!?!

River Street...HERE I COME!!!

Ok, so maybe I'm being a little overdramatic, heheh, but still I'm really excited about leaving for our trip to Savannah! Of course, I'm sort of dreading the ride down without a c.d. player (*snore*) but I think I'll manage. Besides, since we're leaving tonight after I get off work, Mia will most likely sleep the whole way down there, as will Cullen (our poodle puppy), so it'll actually be really nice for me and Chris to just have some time to enjoy each other's company and have some of those meaningless conversations that we used to have when we first started dating =) It'll give us some time to relax before actually getting down there and being super busy with lots of things to do in the 2 1/2 days that we'll be there.
Seriously though? I am excited about River Street =) I just LOVE shopping there, and I just LOVE how beautiful everything is right by the harbor! Oh, and it's going to be in the 70's there! YAY! Right now, I really feel like this trip came at the perfect time. We all just need to get away for a few days. I'm so thankful I was able to take off, basically at the last minute, to be able to go down. I know Tina is so excited about seeing Mia...she doesn't even mind that we'll be getting there at like, midnight! Ugh! I think we may wait til Monday to go shopping though (I hope I can last that long, hah!) and tomorrow we'll probably make a trip to the pier at Tybee Island where Chris proposed to me. It'll be fun for Mia to; looking out over the pier, seeing the ocean.
Like I said, I'm really excited. Just pray that God will grant us safety and travelling mercies on our trip there and home. I probably won't be on here til I get back so, until then.....

Peace, Love, & Farewell 'til Wednesday<3

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

What a procrastinator.....

Seriously, I should have already started packing for our trip to Savannah. At least I've washed the dirty clothes that were starting to tower over Mia by at least 2 feet...ewww! Anywho-so I've washed the clothes, but I have to say, other than that, and making a list of everything I may forget to take on the trip with us, I've done nothing. Nada....zip....zilch....I know, I'm such a procrastinator. And I know why I do it; I know why I wait until the last minute to pack.....BECAUSE I HATE IT!!!!
I always get so stressed out when it comes to going on a trip (even though we're only gonna be gone for 2 1/2 days...) it still makes me so anxious! I'm always worried that I'm going to forget something vitally important that will just absolutely ruin our trip if I don't remember to pack it! (I get the worry-wart-ness from my mom. Thanks Mom!) And like it makes it any easier to remember everything when you're not only packing for yourself, but when you've also gotta pack all the necessities for a 14 month old as well as a 10 week old puppy =/ You see the dilemma...?! Tomorrow, I have just got to make Chris go down and get the suitcase and at least make some effort at starting to get things together. Because if I don't start now, come Saturday night at 8:30 when I get home from work, I'll be a nervous wreck trying to get everything together before we wake up to head out Sunday morning at 4. I wish I had a slave driver to just whip me and say "Do it now!" Maybe I should mention this to Chris....nah, he'd enjoy that too much....hah!
Anywho-I'm seriously looking forward to our trip. I just gotta make myself get this packing stuff over with so that I can relax, work the remainder of the week, and be ready for a well-deserved mini-vacation come Sunday morning =)

Peace, Love, && Procrastination<3

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


WOW...here's to yet another absolutely boring night at work =( What the heck?! I mean sure, when I've got a good book and no calls, it's a different story; I appreciate the fact that no one calls, hah! But now, since I've already reread New Moon and since Sarah is borrowing Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, I have absolutely nothing to read or do. So, I decided I would just blog about absolutely nothing really.....This should be fascinating.
I'm glad my husband finally got into the whole blogging thing. Sure, he hasn't really posted anything from his heart, just mainly song lyrics he loves and quotes and poems he's found that he likes, I still think it's really helping him. See, we both have pretty bad tempers; and yes, I hate to admit that!, but it's true. I suggested to him about creating a blog and letting it be his outlet whenever he gets so angry he could spit nails! So, I am glad that he finally took my advice and created himself a blog. Good for you, DaddyOh.
As you know, we're leaving early Sunday morning for our trip to Savannah. I'm really looking forward to it, except for the drive down with a 14 month old baby and a poodle puppy that pees every 5 minutes =/ but otherwise, I'm really excited. I bet the weather is going to be sooo nice, and I just can't wait to relax and walk around River Street, do some shopping, and hopefully eat some REALLY good seafood. I can't wait to post the pictures up for you all to see =)
Oh my gah, I almost forgot! My mom had a freakin' wreck last night! My gah, the woman who hit her was BANANAS!!! I mean, she was out of her mind, sitting in her car screaming profanities and just acting crazy! She's the one who hit my mom and the woman kept trying to convince the officers that it was my mom's fault. But you know what? God took care of her! My mom ended up being just fine and the other woman got cited for a traffic violation and as the vehicle who caused the accident. I guess she'll think twice before she acts so ugly again, now won't she??? My mom was so shaken up, but she doesn't have any injuries, thank Jesus. It was just a scary experience (of course!) and a not-so-happy start to her birthday. Happy Birthday, Momma!
Anywho-another thing that I'm looking so forward to is having some family pictures made by one of my good friends, Ashley. She has been taking some amazing photographs for some other families because her sweetiepie husband bought her a great new camera for Christmas. She keeps telling me that "she's not a professional" but it's hard to believe from the way all of her pictures are turning out! They're incredible! So, I'm am so very excited to have her take some family shots of me, Chris, and Mia once the weather warms up a little bit. Thanks Ashley!!!

Since I've basically written about everything I can think to write about, I guess I'll go sit a while longer and just mess around the Internet. No more calls so far, which stinks

=( I've GOT to get a book, or at least a REALLY good c.d., to keep me preoccupied tomorrow when I don't have any calls; you know, to save all of you reading this from anymore of my inane, boredom-related blogging ventures, hah!

Peace, Love, & Boredom<3

Monday, February 02, 2009

Pictures =)

Just thought I'd post some pictures of the important people in my life...just cause I love showing them off, hah! Hope you enjoy.....

The first picture is of my daughter, Mia Jolie; she's 14 months old. The following pictures are, as follows:
My niece, Pheobe Christine, she's 18 months old.
Me && Pheobe.
Pheobe && Mia Jolie.
And me && my husband Chris.

Peace, Love, && Photographs<3