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"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

If I could keep it from happening, I would....

There are some things in life, no matter how hard you may try, you just can't seem to keep them from happening...over and over and over again. It truly gets monotonous; always having to say the same things, do the same things to prevent it, hear the same promises just to have them thrown back in my face as insults to be used against me. I try with everything I have to give to keep you from doing these things...how much more do I have to give before you realize I'm truly serious about this?! I've almost given it all. How much more is left of my heart? How much more is left of my resolve? Do you expect me to just continue on like this? Giving EVERYTHING and never getting anything back in return? I try to protect you, never change you. But maybe you need to change; maybe that's the problem. You just don't see it the way others do; I know you don't. I wish you did. I just pray that nothing happens to you. That's my biggest fear. It keeps me awake, restless, some nights, do you know that? I just don't know how much more of myself I can give to you, without getting anything in return. I'm about all used up. But I'll give everything, until I'm nothing. And once I'm nothing, who's gonna be there to take care of you then?...


Ashley K said...

Aww, Brandi. I can 'hear' your pain in this. I am so sorry you feel like this. I hope things get better. I'll keep you in my prayers, girl!