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"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
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Saturday, October 04, 2008

The past is a hard thing to forget.

Why is it that the past always has some way of showing back up in your present? I mean, it's understandable. There are just some things you just cannot forget about. Your first love, your first kiss, losing your virginity...there's a whole list of things that you just never seem to be completely rid of. It's so weird...sometimes I still feel like I'm a kid; like none of this is really happening. I'm not a mom, not a wife; I'm back in highschool just doing the things kids do! I don't have bills or stress or dirty diapers....but then I realize how truly blessed I am. I see how my husband looks at me...like there's no other person in this world who he could love as much as he loves me. And I see my beautiful daughter, a true miracle in a world of non-believers, who keeps growing more and more each day and surprising me with her extreme love and intelligence.

I don't miss my past. I long for my future. I dream of the day that I take Mia to her first day of kindergarten. I can see her little pigtails swinging and her Hello Kitty bookbag, ha I can see the house that Chris and I continue our family in; our own house, with our own bedroom, our own kitchen, Mia's own room....just everything our own! I can see a sweet little baby, whether God blesses us with a little boy or another little girl, I can just see that sweet little face and I can feel myself reliving the joys of a newborn and being pregnant.

I don't miss my past, although some very important things came from it. I was a different person then, very different from the person I am now. And I may miss the physical attributes of that person, but I don't miss the spiritual, or the emotional attributes. I'm a grown up now, and I'm happy about that. So yes, the past is a hard thing to forget, but it's not that hard to get over. The present and my future are what's most important. And that's just fine by me.