About Me

My Photo
"The right thing isn't always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So... good luck figuring that out." -Charlie Swan
View my complete profile


Saturday, October 25, 2008

My head is in a fog.

Today I had a REALLY great day. I went to an Uppercase Living party that my grandmother had and I got to hang out with Sarah and with some other friends from church, and of course my grandmother too. We had ALOT of fun, and I can't wait to start my job and get some money, so that when Brittany has HER party, I can buy lots of cute stuff to get crafty with =)

Also, I've had a cold the past 3 days. My head is in a fog, and my body feels like it weighs 100 times heavier than it usually does! I feel so sluggish and I feel like I'm just not comprehending anything as well as normal! I hate this. It seems like all the medicine I take doesn't help one bit. I'm ready for this cold to be GONE, and I'm ready to start work. I'm so excited, and I feel like this is truly what God had planned to help my family get along. I can't wait to start! I hope it's soon! haha Crazy right? Somebody actually looking FORWARD to going to work!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I got the job! I couldn't be more excited that my interview the other day actually earned me the job! I'm ecstatic =) And right now I'm getting ready to leave to go fill out some final paperwork and to take my drug test, background check, and all that good stuff. I get to start as soon as all the things today come back crystal clear (which they will!).

One thing I AM sad about...I had to take out my monroe. I know it's trivial...it was just a piercing...but it made me feel so unique! And I'm just really gonna miss it. But it'll be alright. I can always get it done again when I'm about 60, and retired. Then, I'll be the most rockin' old lady EVAH! haha Nah, I know that this job is WAY more important than any piercing. I'm just so thankful that God saw that me and my family needed this job. And I'm so glad He provided it for us.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Interview Anxiety

So I have a job interview tomorrow at 2 pm. And the only word I can use to describe how I feel about it is ANXIOUS. It's not so much that I'm worried about my qualifications-I know I'm qualified enough to be a dead ringer for the job-I'm most worried about having to sit in front of strangers and answer tedious questions about myself and my work abilities. I'm a pretty confident person, most of the time, but lately, I've been a little less confident than I used to be. I guess it just comes with getting older, who knows.

I don't know how I'm gonna rest tonight. I should have already been in bed, but everytime I think about laying down, I start thinking about the main event for tomorrow. It's been SO LONG since I've been on an interview-almost 2 years I think? And it's just wracking my nerves thinking about going to this interview! Already tonight I've had a meltdown because I have nothing "professional" enough to wear and everything that I DO have that's professional, I hate anyway because it makes me look fat, or it sits wrong this way or that way. UGH, how frustrating!

I've been praying for the past 2 hours or so, over and over that God will just give me the courage and the knowledge to impress the interviewers tomorrow. This job would just be wonderful for my family. It has insurance benefits and really good pay-and it's not like it takes a brain surgeoun to do the job I'm interviewing for. Answering phones can't be THAT hard =/ And yet, I still find myself going over and over in my head the trillion and one ways that it could go terribly wrong. I guess I just need to hand it over to God and just get some rest. I actually feel a LITTLE better now that I've ranted about it, HA! So anyway, I'm leaving it to God...only He knows how it's truly gonna turn out. I just hope He's there with me tomorrow as I'm in the interview. Time now to try and get some sleep, I guess. Sweetest dreams until tomorrow.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I'm a lucky lady.

You know, I never imagined that I'd have the life I have right now. I saw myself with "a person who shall not be named", and I saw myself marrying that person and living my life with them. Thankfully, I lapsed out of my drug-induced STUPOR before I did anything REALLY ridiculous...like actually marry that guy! But God knew all along that "that guy" was not the one for me. He had someone really special set aside for me. And I found him soon enough.

It's amazing how I just knew that Christopher Quantez Head was going to be my soulmate. I mean, our relationship really was a roller coaster, and we had a lot of obstacles to tear through before we finally made it to the finish line.

But we DID make it, despite those who thought we wouldn't. And we started our amazing family.

At first, it was hard telling everyone that we were having a baby. We were both SO young, and just recently married, but it was a decision that we had made and we were happy about it. It was absolutely amazing to think that we had created a precious little life that was steadily growing inside my tummy. I swear, I was the happiest pregnant woman EVER! haha It was one of the most enjoyable times in my life. Some women DREAD being pregnant, but I was happy every minute of it!

We decided on the name Mia Jolie after learning from her 3D ultrasound that we were having a baby girl.
We loved the name Mia, because it was pretty unique to us. And the name Jolie means "pretty or beautiful"...and when she came out.....she most certainly was the most beautiful creation we had EVER seen. I can't explain the happiness of childbirth. Yes, we had a pretty hard time bringing her into this world, and I will admit, I was terrified! But she came out fine, and so did I, and now we have this amazing little angel baby that we get to watch grow and change....and it's an absolute miracle!
Seriously, I am one lucky lady. I have the most amazing family and I couldn't imagine my life being any other way than what it is now. I'm so thankful to God each and everyday for giving me my husband and my sweet baby. He truly blessed me in so many ways. And I'm eternally thankful and utterly grateful. Sure, we have our moments of yelling and screaming and frustration from having no sleep (haha), but we always make it through, and we're always a hundred times stronger than before. So once again, I have to say.....that I am one lucky lady.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

My mom's in the hospital.

My mom had to go the hospital last night. She had been complaining about having pains in her left arm and in her chest, so she went to the medical center. Do you know that she called her supervisor and her supervisor said this, "Well, we've already had 2 people call out already, so unfortunately you'll have to come in." Can you believe that?! How could anyone be so hateful?! She didn't even ask how my mom was doing, she just wanted to make sure that my mom would be in for work....If I could spit fire I would spit it in that woman's face!!! I don't even know her and she makes me want to vomit =(

Anyway, so they kept her overnight because her EKG was really bad, so an ambulance transported her from the medical center to the hospital. She was doing better this morning. She said she just has a headache and that she's hungry, because the hospital food is no nasty, haha I'm just glad that she's okay. It was so weird being here at the house last night without her. She's just like this permanent, this being that's always here no matter what! So it was weird having to get up this morning and not having her here.

But it's okay, because hopefully she'll get to come home tonight. But everyone who prayed about it, thank you. Your prayers mean the world and they truly DO help =)

Saturday, October 04, 2008

The past is a hard thing to forget.

Why is it that the past always has some way of showing back up in your present? I mean, it's understandable. There are just some things you just cannot forget about. Your first love, your first kiss, losing your virginity...there's a whole list of things that you just never seem to be completely rid of. It's so weird...sometimes I still feel like I'm a kid; like none of this is really happening. I'm not a mom, not a wife; I'm back in highschool just doing the things kids do! I don't have bills or stress or dirty diapers....but then I realize how truly blessed I am. I see how my husband looks at me...like there's no other person in this world who he could love as much as he loves me. And I see my beautiful daughter, a true miracle in a world of non-believers, who keeps growing more and more each day and surprising me with her extreme love and intelligence.

I don't miss my past. I long for my future. I dream of the day that I take Mia to her first day of kindergarten. I can see her little pigtails swinging and her Hello Kitty bookbag, ha I can see the house that Chris and I continue our family in; our own house, with our own bedroom, our own kitchen, Mia's own room....just everything our own! I can see a sweet little baby, whether God blesses us with a little boy or another little girl, I can just see that sweet little face and I can feel myself reliving the joys of a newborn and being pregnant.

I don't miss my past, although some very important things came from it. I was a different person then, very different from the person I am now. And I may miss the physical attributes of that person, but I don't miss the spiritual, or the emotional attributes. I'm a grown up now, and I'm happy about that. So yes, the past is a hard thing to forget, but it's not that hard to get over. The present and my future are what's most important. And that's just fine by me.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Just another day.

Not too much to say today so far. Going today to check on my grandfather. He had some injections in his spine yesterday and I'm not sure how he's doing. So I'm making a trip with my mom and my niece (and Chris and Mia, of course) to go and see how he's feeling. Maybe we'll take him some lunch or something to help him feel better. Food always makes anyone feel better! haha Hopefully I'll write something more thought provoking later, haha =) Til then, peace and looooove.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

So says the "writer".

I always wanted to be a writer, except for maybe when I was 5 and I thought I wanted to be a vet, but at 5 I didn't know how powerful words could be! I remember the first time I actually wrote words that meant something to me. I was in 2nd grade--I had the most amazing teacher, Danny Bates--and we had an assignment to write some kind of short story and to illustrate it. Well let me tell ya, I'm no artist...but my story! I lost myself in the plot, the hero, the villian! It was probably the most ridiculous story ever written, but I was so proud of myself! And so was my teacher.
From that point on, I became known as "the girl who was good at English". I've always loved to read--it's an addiction and a passion--and I've always loved poetry most of all. I just never dreamed I would choose THAT as a career choice for my life.
Things have come along in my life, and have sort of stalled my writing. But, I haven't lost it. I pray I never lose it. It's just one of those things that helps to keep me sane. Writing just takes me to this place where I'm invincible, untouchable--away from all the crying, away from the guitar, away from family and EVERYone!--just long enough to hold onto my sanity and write another day. I'm sure I'll be posting some poems on here before too long. So says the writer, "Farewell for now..."